1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize