I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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