peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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