You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
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The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
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Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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