I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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