What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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