I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
