Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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