I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
