Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
