he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
someone owes me an orgasm
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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