It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
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The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
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I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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