Already got asked if we're dating
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Sober January is a disaster.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.