this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
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Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
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So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.