Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
So squirting runs in the family.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
