Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

your thong is hanging out like whoa

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(917): your thong is hanging out like whoa http://tfl.nu/zppd

Replies (2) Good night (2488) Bad night (1140)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..

(609): View more from New Jersey

AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!

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(609): Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?! (267): This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room.. (609): AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?! http://tfl.nu/dtle

Replies (37) Good night (688) Bad night (3533)
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(714): View more from California

It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends

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(714): It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends http://tfl.nu/q0nl

Replies (5) Good night (2489) Bad night (783)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg

(1-973): View more from New Jersey

gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?

(973): View more from New Jersey

yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars

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(973): this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg (1-973): gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something? (973): yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars http://tfl.nu/7tyz

Replies (18) Good night (1490) Bad night (5620)
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(512): View more from Texas

you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried

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(512): you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried http://tfl.nu/gu6n

Replies (131) Good night (6138) Bad night (7309)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.

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(864): I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me. http://tfl.nu/y5s2

Replies (30) Good night (5795) Bad night (1121)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.

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(615): im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused. http://tfl.nu/4oz4

Replies (9) Good night (5327) Bad night (941)
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(415): View more from California

You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.

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(415): You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off. http://tfl.nu/eb22

Replies (15) Good night (4776) Bad night (1813)
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(417): View more from Missouri

She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.

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(417): She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit. http://tfl.nu/3bxb

Replies (21) Good night (3759) Bad night (1280)
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(315): View more from New York

He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.

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(315): He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits. http://tfl.nu/w5h8

Replies (7) Good night (3258) Bad night (754)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.

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(504): I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex. http://tfl.nu/xk62

Replies (7) Good night (1639) Bad night (491)
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(404): View more from Georgia

my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.

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(404): my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class. http://tfl.nu/g08a

Replies (24) Good night (1959) Bad night (524)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.

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(479): My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day. http://tfl.nu/2m2t

Replies (13) Good night (2611) Bad night (581)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts

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(203): I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts http://tfl.nu/mdva

Replies (2) Good night (583) Bad night (248)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate

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(617): I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate http://tfl.nu/7ugk

Replies (1) Good night (382) Bad night (606)

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