I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home