Texts From Last Night

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  (480): View more from Arizona

  just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.

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  (480): just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers. http://tfl.nu/c1gi
  Replies (4) Good night (2557) Bad night (749)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'

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  (703): Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.' http://tfl.nu/veyw
  Replies (55) Good night (1425) Bad night (10975)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore

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  (781): I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore http://tfl.nu/jp8t
  Replies (19) Good night (995) Bad night (4223)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.

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  (850): I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before. http://tfl.nu/vbyg
  Replies (16) Good night (5356) Bad night (1156)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.

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  (919): You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad. http://tfl.nu/r24i
  Replies (12) Good night (1280) Bad night (2299)
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  (848): View more from New Jersey

  Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.

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  (848): Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired. http://tfl.nu/ghfv
  Replies (8) Good night (2439) Bad night (677)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...

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  (304): I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here... http://tfl.nu/7uov
  Replies (3) Good night (434) Bad night (905)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?

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  (203): Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish? http://tfl.nu/j5ph
  Replies (2) Good night (709) Bad night (442)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.

  (1-618): View more from Illinois

  Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!

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  (618): One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat. (1-618): Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research! http://tfl.nu/3g8w
  Replies (6) Good night (1671) Bad night (373)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.

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  (720): He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened. http://tfl.nu/qbkq
  Replies (3) Good night (583) Bad night (317)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?

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  (440): I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card? http://tfl.nu/hh1f
  Replies (3) Good night (543) Bad night (591)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.

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  (214): I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory. http://tfl.nu/tp70
  Replies (0) Good night (750) Bad night (341)
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  (848): View more from New Jersey

  How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?

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  (848): How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window? http://tfl.nu/f8ev
  Replies (1) Good night (314) Bad night (551)
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  (845): View more from New York

  There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional

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  (845): There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional http://tfl.nu/lf32
  Replies (0) Good night (225) Bad night (540)
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  (916): View more from California

  I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.

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  (916): I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out. http://tfl.nu/tis1
  Replies (4) Good night (276) Bad night (114)

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