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• (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.

  Fav 12 4859 1069

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• (716): View more from New York

  Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.

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• 

  17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (269): View more from Michigan

  So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow

  (1-269): View more from Michigan

  Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10

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• (801): View more from Utah

  Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.

  Fav 46 20028 2044

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)

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• (254): View more from Texas

  We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.

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  These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men

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• (727): View more from Florida

  She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.

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• (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.

  Fav 2 556 484

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.

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• (559): View more from California

  Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.

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