Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  You mean bread?

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  (678): All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast? (404): You mean bread? http://tfl.nu/0bp8
  Replies (60) Good night (17471) Bad night (1651)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.

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  (781): i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed. http://tfl.nu/tv17
  Replies (9) Good night (5206) Bad night (1234)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.

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  (310): My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in. http://tfl.nu/bth8
  Replies (14) Good night (1335) Bad night (2891)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.

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  (510): I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit. http://tfl.nu/1jo4
  Replies (9) Good night (3106) Bad night (1037)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture

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  (928): Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture http://tfl.nu/vg21
  Replies (3) Good night (1773) Bad night (1172)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.

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  (949): You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic. http://tfl.nu/5o2h
  Replies (8) Good night (2580) Bad night (886)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.

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  (425): I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it. http://tfl.nu/dgh5
  Replies (13) Good night (1132) Bad night (3346)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.

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  (240): We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/70u9
  Replies (3) Good night (2133) Bad night (1067)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.

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  (914): I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me. http://tfl.nu/7a7a
  Replies (5) Good night (1577) Bad night (1681)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?

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  (417): So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty? http://tfl.nu/l95a
  Replies (3) Good night (799) Bad night (349)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face

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  (864): I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face http://tfl.nu/2gbk
  Replies (0) Good night (612) Bad night (355)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.

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  (517): I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first. http://tfl.nu/5h2f
  Replies (0) Good night (392) Bad night (348)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.

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  (716): You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now. http://tfl.nu/udiw
  Replies (5) Good night (554) Bad night (148)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  That's a beautiful sentiment.

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  (210): You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here. (662): That's a beautiful sentiment. http://tfl.nu/40xu
  Replies (2) Good night (518) Bad night (129)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.

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  (818): I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent. http://tfl.nu/y82h
  Replies (6) Good night (586) Bad night (152)

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