theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
The ass gains better be worth it
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