you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
