I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
