She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
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I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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