i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
