Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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