We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
