i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Randomize
