he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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