I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
