So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize