I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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