it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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