I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Randomize
