HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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