god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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