Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
It's official drugs can't kill me
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
