how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
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