Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.