Texts From Last Night

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  (353): View more from

  i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash

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  (353): i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash http://tfl.nu/bafg
  Replies (22) Good night (5722) Bad night (767)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I want my thong back.

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I hate you tequila.

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  (763): I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong... (612): I want my thong back. (763): I hate you tequila. http://tfl.nu/u481
  Replies (16) Good night (5092) Bad night (869)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?

  (1-815): View more from Illinois

  why can't you just be normal

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  (815): have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u? (1-815): why can't you just be normal http://tfl.nu/06xb
  Replies (78) Good night (4930) Bad night (3207)
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  (415): View more from California

  I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?

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  (415): I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first? http://tfl.nu/brke
  Replies (9) Good night (4935) Bad night (558)
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  (716): View more from New York

  fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans

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  (716): fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans http://tfl.nu/906w
  Replies (155) Good night (8154) Bad night (2624)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Dude she let me cum on her face

  (1-843): View more from South Carolina

  You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning

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  (843): Dude she let me cum on her face (1-843): You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning http://tfl.nu/f5g3
  Replies (116) Good night (3505) Bad night (10396)
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip

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  (862): Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip http://tfl.nu/drj8
  Replies (15) Good night (2072) Bad night (6022)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.

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  (989): in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea. http://tfl.nu/9a80
  Replies (14) Good night (1212) Bad night (4922)
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  (916): View more from California

  I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up

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  (916): I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up http://tfl.nu/ccq8
  Replies (5) Good night (2738) Bad night (978)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks

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  (218): If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks http://tfl.nu/wfaf
  Replies (6) Good night (1589) Bad night (731)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.

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  (801): I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens. http://tfl.nu/q3si
  Replies (8) Good night (2128) Bad night (687)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt

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  (732): Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt http://tfl.nu/9gi1
  Replies (22) Good night (3190) Bad night (822)
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  (914): View more from New York

  She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.

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  (914): She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head. http://tfl.nu/hrvg
  Replies (5) Good night (1600) Bad night (543)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?

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  (972): Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney? http://tfl.nu/omqz
  Replies (3) Good night (686) Bad night (537)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby

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  (403): Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby http://tfl.nu/ngks
  Replies (0) Good night (265) Bad night (403)

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