We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful