Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(317): View more from Indiana

One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom

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(571): View more from Virginia

She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun

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(+35): View more from

Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(601): View more from Mississippi

I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.

(508): View more from Massachusetts

Did it finish?

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!

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(775): View more from Nevada

You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe

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(705): View more from Ontario

Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap

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