Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(202): View more from Washington, DC

remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(202): remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER. http://tfl.nu/2j9f

Replies (3) Good night (2048) Bad night (403) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(516): View more from New York

My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(516): My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday. http://tfl.nu/iu5d

Replies (8) Good night (2571) Bad night (1013) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(703): View more from Virginia

It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(703): It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement... http://tfl.nu/l7x1

Replies (8) Good night (1904) Bad night (1610)
Favorite
(850): View more from Florida

Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(850): Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either. http://tfl.nu/w5pa

Replies (7) Good night (826) Bad night (2089) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(973): View more from New Jersey

I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(973): I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night. http://tfl.nu/b0w0

Replies (4) Good night (2315) Bad night (1093) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(417): View more from Missouri

I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard

(1-417): View more from Missouri

Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(417): I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard (1-417): Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming. http://tfl.nu/52u7

Replies (2) Good night (999) Bad night (1293) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(310): View more from California

She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL

(310): View more from California

so no, not her best night

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(310): She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL (310): so no, not her best night http://tfl.nu/htxy

Replies (6) Good night (612) Bad night (1815)
Favorite
(631): View more from New York

But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(631): But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND http://tfl.nu/5e4y

Replies (23) Good night (2567) Bad night (423) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(605): View more from South Dakota

captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(605): captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut http://tfl.nu/q1db

Replies (8) Good night (2477) Bad night (409) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(913): View more from Kansas

just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(913): just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone. http://tfl.nu/qc7n

Replies (6) Good night (1336) Bad night (447) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(325): View more from Texas

I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(325): I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol. http://tfl.nu/32t0

Replies (1) Good night (1067) Bad night (320) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(608): View more from Wisconsin

She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(608): She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out http://tfl.nu/4oi1

Replies (4) Good night (377) Bad night (791) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(203): View more from Connecticut

...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(203): ...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus. http://tfl.nu/rgdm

Replies (4) Good night (703) Bad night (284)
Favorite
(703): View more from Virginia

I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(703): I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING. http://tfl.nu/0loh

Replies (3) Good night (891) Bad night (366) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(914): View more from New York

I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(914): I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator? http://tfl.nu/y5q4

Replies (3) Good night (564) Bad night (226) Order T-Shirt

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: