onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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