Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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