someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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