I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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