Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
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Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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