i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Randomize
