Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
