I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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