i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize