Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
