Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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