He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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