I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.