I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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