so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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