Banned from zoo.
Again?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
