The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
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Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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