To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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