I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
