Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Did you just see the Batmobile???
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
