I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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