to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
