I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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