Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
