i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
