the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Holy shit dude........stairs
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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