just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize