Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
