im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
