we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
