It's like a parade of train wrecks.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
