I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
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